I cannot believe Summer 2014 has come to an end; classes start tomorrow and I can finally lay this awful summer to rest.
Application after application, I tried for FIVE MONTHS to find a job to no avail. I’m not one to usually worry about things like a job but I couldn’t help but question myself. Was I good enough? Was I not qualified enough? Did I misspell something? What is wrong with me? Several questions. Instead of waiting around to things to go my way, I started a store on Etsy – Delasie Designs. Now I’m good to go right? WRONG! I went over a month without a single sale. The questions flooded me again. What is wrong with me!?! And that was just the beginning.
Within a span of ONE MONTH four people close to me died! My uncle and 3 other friends I lost to sickness(44), suicide(18), accident(21), and an unexplained circumstance(20). It seemed just like every time my phone rang, someone I cared about had passed away. My uncle’s death was a BIG hit to my family and our entire community because he was a known pastor. TIll date, I haven’t been able to shed a tear over his passing because I am still consumed with anger and rage – at life, and everything that surrounded his death. I had so many questions for God that remain unanswered – why did he have to go, why did he leave behind 4 children ( 13, 8, 3, and a newborn baby he never got to hold), if a pastor dies, how does the congregation recover? So many questions that cannot be answered easily. Then I hear of my neighbour from school passing away, I sobbed like a baby. I couldn’t believe it because she was for sure one of the kindest, most lovely, and beautiful (inside and out) people I had EVER met. In the short while I knew her, she left a great impression on me. How many people will meet you a whiles away to offer to help you carry your grocery back to campus? How many people will offer solution to a problem instead of fuel and feed off conflict? Not many is the answer. Coincidentally, both funerals ended up being on the same day. I also got my first speeding ticket on my way. Perfect. It just gets better. -_-
It got to a time, I REFUSED to go on Facebook because my ENTIRE NEWS FEED was filled with awful things. From shooting to death, to arguments to divorces to foreclosures. Abductions of young girls, war, beheading, rape culture, disease, genocide, etc,. You name it, it was most likely on my timeline; if it could, it would bleed red. I turned to baby videos to smile.
Worst of all, the suspense, always wondering when you wake up “what bad news am I going to graced with today?” It was absolutely awful. My ENTIRE FAMILY went to Ghana and Nigeria for family commitments and left me alone. Just then, news about Ebola virus broke out in West Africa putting me on high alert. I couldn’t wait to go to bed to get the day over with and wake up to know that everything was alright with my family.The suspense was slowly drawing out my energy because I found myself lost in thought wondering “what if” several times. The suspense was worse than knowing. Something about the unknown that could happen was terrifying.
Now I start a brand new semester tomorrow and I couldn’t be happier I’m taking this summer as a book of many lessons to carry along with me: Appreciate those who are here and show them how much you care, Don’t wait until tomorrow to do what you can today, life is short and even shorter for those you love, a life full of laughter overflows to others. Spread love and joy.